I'm a man by the name of Chin Kok Seng. I was born on 01August90.
MSN @ kokseng90@hotmail.com
I'm COOL, I'm FUN and I'm LOVABLE

I'm a OBOIST ♥
MARIAH CAREY & BEYONCE!!! ♥
& I LOVE TAZMANIA & BABY TAZ ♥

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FIVEONES
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Alicia
David
Dennis
Evelyn
Gina
Jermaine
Janice
Jogina
Jinping
Junkai
Kehui
Kelly
Leibing
Lester
Leonard
Mag
Nolly
Roy
Roxanne
Sarina
Sally
Sakinah
Saleha
Sharifah
Shahreen
Sharmine
Shuxian
Terence
Weini
Yanling
Yijin
Yingying
Yvonne

hey people,
poly life been stressing me out!!!
tmr is a holiday,
can use this time to re-gain my energy.

sitting infront of my laptop
starring at the screen,
but my brain daze into other happy moment.
in another word i am " DAY DREAMING "

suddenly,
the first things that come to my mind.
I MISS SITTING IN THE CORNER OF WRS BAND
WHEN WE ARE HAVING FULL BAND....
having fun in the band members,
doing all sort of funny things
and chat whatever we can...
having all sort of activity with them
seriously make me push all my trouble away...

i remember me and kelly,
going back to wrs almost very practice
seriously I BEEN MISSING WRS BAND VERY BADLY!!!!!


next,
a few words and action which came into my mind.
laughing , M smiling , laughing juice/gas , malu , heart attack
this make me remember my besties in band/outside/whatever.
which is GINA NG , YVONNE WONG & ROY CHIA.
those outing that we had, those fun we had , those laughter that we had
those malu-ness in shopping mall , those conferences we had ,
those stupid malu things we do together , those rumours that we had and etc

even though,
everything seem so different now,
it seem like most of us are going to
our own different route now,
those memories will never fake away
it will always be kept in my heart.
treasure it forever and ever :D

hope you guys remember it k :)


NEXT!!!!

it will be my precious FIVEONES
the class which i go through happiness together
with all my lovely classmates...
especially during my class year in school.

doreen ho , yijin , doreen ng ,kelly , janice, yingying
sakinah , filzard , shahreen , sharmine , faris , chingfang
wenhui and alot more ....

seriously,
i been missing you guys so much!!!
now in poly life is like so different,
no more you guys in my class.
hope that we can stick back as one
and attend MAMATAN class one more time!!!






seriously,
these are all my happiest moment in life
been missing all sort of event which happened before.
woodlands ring , wrs band , my clique , besties , lovies
especially my precious fiveone class!!!!



love and misses you much!!!

today,
not a very good day for me.
i think it my biggest set back in life.

went for RP band tune in session ,
we played MERRYWIDOW AND 7NIGHTOFJUNLY.

I WAS COMPLETELY STUNT!!!
i never played this piece before.
i am sigh reading it.
the speed at the beginning is like very fast.
hard time catching it. >.<
middle part is still okay for me.

7nightofjuly is still okay for me.
coz i still can play it.

then there is this oboe guy
dunno from what school also
he is quite a strong player
sitting beside him totally stress me out.
I FEEL LIKE QUITING!!!!!


heard that audition,
audi on this two pieces.
one word for me to use ; DIE
i am already prepare for the worst
which is to fail the audition. >.<


** i promise i will give my best for it **



********************



pls press play if you wanna listen.


recently,
been listening to this song.
feel that the words are so meaningful.

just hope my friend out there
please make you own choices clear.
dont regret as it is what you choose.

yesterday,
video call with JANICE tan
we chatted abt our past and present
so many things happen in our sec5 life.
damn missing my FIVEONE now!!! >.<

then today
met kelly
help her buy breakfast
then took bus to CNL.

CNL was like very little people only
coz quite a number is having their MYE
then i am still sigh reading some pieces.
damn sian lorx.

after CNL
the members are discussing
what to play for concert.
choice this choice that
hope they can choose something i can manage.
hehe.

after that
all of us went to thiong baru market
to have our dinner, as it quite late around
7plus to 8 , no more appetite already.
after eating , jiu chit chat.

then jonathan send me cheryl and huiping
to nearest mrt station
then me and huiping took train home.




**
it about a week since i last see you.
missing you badly. >.<

hey people,


meet up with kelly and sir
when mos burger to have our lunch.
after lunch jiu quickly rush to TRCC
set up and warm up jiu run through
all the concert pieces.

after running through
break for us.
slack in the GUEST room.
then change and wait for dinner.

after dinner
have another tunning session.
after tunning jiu wait behind door
waiting for the actual performance.

the actual performance starts
saw alicia and gang.
they were sitting right infront of me.
making me so nervous. " STRESSSSSSSSSS "

they all keep taking my photo
while i am playing and also standing
there a pic really look like my
" SI REN ZHAO " AKA " DEAD PHOTO "
LOL~

THANK GOD!!!
i think my solo did not cork up.
for me i think it still fine for me.
relieeeeeeeeeeeeefffff.

after the concert,
have a debrief , and photo taking session'
then went outside to meet yanling they all
slack for awhile.
then went to cwp to meet alicia and gang.

they boys is playing
so me nolly alicia weiwen and syaza
is like chit chatting outside
and gossiping abt this "bitch".
most all us there dislike her
(maybe it under my influence bahx)

i also told them why i feel so regreted.
they also say me "stupid" for doing it.
no choice but i had already done it.


then take 913 wif weiwen nolly and alicia
send nolly and alicia home first
then in the bus still gossiping abt the bitch
then later take 912 with weiwen go home.



SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BITCH


i can only do this much
and
there is something that i cant!!!


**
If you think that this is you , this is not you.
If you think that this is for you , this is not for you.
I have long pass the past ,
even actually you are another bitch.

it seem like
poly life is really
taking up most of my time.
there is no time for me
to catch a breath.

yesterday
last rehearsal in studio
before the actual concert.
having oboe blues. haiz.

after band
accompany sir and kelly
to watch FORBIDDEN KINGDOM.
i had watch it for the third time le.
watch until i sian already.
practically sleep and sms in the movie.

after movie
me and sir walk kelly home
then find one place sit down
chit chatting abt life.
talk until 1a.m

then later on sir walk me home
bath and sleep.

actually wanted to go school.
even put up the alarm clock
but i missed it.
or should i say i purposely miss it.
hehe :D

then wake up at 12.

slack at home.
spend time searching
reading through all the 6P
hope to score well in the my UT.

off to sleep soon le
tmr got performance.
hehe.

yesterday midnight
having a terrible headache!!!
those side headache ( bian tou tong )
give me a hard time to sleep.
ate panadol extra.

wake up at 7.30
the pain is killing me
ate panadol extra and go to sleep again
nv attend school school.

slept until abt 12 then wake up.
feeling much more better le.
then no one at home.
cook my own meal to eat.
had pasta for my breakfast/lunch/dinner.

4plus
went to meet my mum at cwp.
then we go singtel hello shop
to upgrade/change my plan
in the mean time,
i also able to change my phone.

so i change to nokia, N95
it limited edition as it is
black and copper colour.
quite this phone alot.

BIG THANK YOU TO MY MUM!!
YOU ARE THE BEST MUM ON EARTH
COZ YOU ALWAYS TRY TO MEET MY NEEDS.
LOVE YOU~~~ <3

after changing phone
met kelly and ZY
they went yoshinoya for lunch/dinner
sir come abit later.

after took bus
and go to rp band.
run through the whole concert programme.

after band
went to burger king
for drink and quick bites.

btw sorry sir
for not wanting to watch movie today

after that
me and sir
walk kelly home
then i bused home.

transfer data to my new phone
still haven transfer finish yet.
i think it will take days~




to kelly~
i help u keep it as a secret
most of all things,
go with the flow bahx.
anything can come find me de.

Another interesting mail
received from my friends.




A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,

He said...no!!

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die..

SO NOW I WILL SAY:

I like you because of who you are to me...A true friend.


******

Remember:


'A good friend will come bail you out of jail....

But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying

WE screwed up, but we had fun! '

A e-mail received from my friends...
to share with you guys out there
cause i find it very meaning.





What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?



What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?



What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?



What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?


What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?



Some people live and some people die.



But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend...
That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...


If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.
Would I be in yours?



You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next year, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.



So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.


I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.


Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will.


I LOVE MY FRIENDS ALWAYS &
FOREVER!!!

okay
today woke up at 11
by sir phone call.

then slack
get ready and pack bag
then meet kelly at marsiling
then meet gina at admiralty.
took train down to orchard.

meet sir at borders
then we walk to far east plaza
then put down our bag le
then me gina kelly go grab some bites

after snacking
set up and we get ready to warm up.
3o'clock we get ready to perform.
saw von and roy there
make me so nervous only
coz they were like so called laughing at me.
lol.

performance was still alright
quite nervous thought >.<

after performance
go lido with gina von and roy
then we go catch a movie
" the forbidden kingdom "
it was a nice movie.
funny and humorous.
the story line is fine
and the accent of the actor is also funny.
damn funny!!!

after movie
went back to far east
had carl's jr for dinner.
eat until very full.

von spilled her cup
she and her bag got WET!!!
then von keep drying herself
then roy help her to dry her bag.

then went in to fareast
tat roy horx very troublesome
wanna choose a bdae gift for his brother
choose this choose that also cannot
then at last he choose a blazar/jacket

then i also bought a ear stud
dont need to put ear stick le.

then we train back home.
roy alight at yishun

walk gina back home.
**somethin happen**
hehe ^^

later
go to woodlands mart's mac
then bought a drink at sit down
then me and von is like crapping
and also gossiping larx.
talk this talk that.

after that walk her home
then i bused home
bath and now blogging.





**********

it never like before,
and i believes it wont
be like the same.
somehow life have to go on,
accept the truth and the way it is.
IT TOTALLY SO DIFFERENT

okay,
i am back.
back for blogging.
hehehe :D

this few days
seem no different
everyday doing PBL

i think i am starting
TO SLACK LE!!!
i feel that i losing the drive.
but nvm , i will buck up de!!!
JIAYOU!!!!

then today
SLA fiesta.
play a few song for the crowd
actually i should be in the crowd
but coz i gonna play for RPWS
so i was so called in the band
for the time being bahx.

the 7night of july
thax god there is no break down.
coz i having BLUES on my oboe
for the first few pieces
only until clarinet candy then i feel better.

sir : your solo not bad arh!!! GOOD JOB
me : thank thank
sir : you finally know how to use vibrato
me : NO LARX!!! , i was just SHIVERING!!! ( NERVOUS )
sir : =.=" SHIVERBRATO.

then nothing much for this week le
tmr got performance in far east
then meet all my good buddies.
hehe. sure it gonna be fun :D

today
lesson was okay
presentation was till alright
it just that we had no enough TIME!!
finish my RJ ,quiz and evaluation in class

then go meet kelly
then meet sir at 7eleven
go to food haven for dinner
after dinner jiu go for band.

today band
still quite alright for me
i was able to get in tune with li hwa
hehe :D

after band,
go to mos burger
just have some light snack
then chit chat and watch the
marching band competition.

saw yingying
so long nv see her le
her hair is like so havork!!

after that bused home
with kelly and sir.


******

i am so glad to hear it from you.
you give me the assurance for me
to continue to LOVE you :D
so happy now.

okay,
today meet gina at cwp
bought kelly HELLO PANDA
to cheer her up and motivate her in life.

later took train wif her
then we chit chat abt things larx
then go city hall meet kelly.
pass her the HELLO PANDA
she is like so happy can!!!
i think that make her think of mrsoong.
hehe

then alight at redhill
saw fred flirt and changzuo there
then bus to CNL together.

play a few song
then end of of prac le
nxt week at fareast got performance
PPL REMEMBER GO WATCH CNL GEEK PERFORMANCE!!!
thaxthax

then we broad shawn's car
then we went botak jones at clemeti
ate until so full.

after sir kelly gina and me
we share cab home.
sir alight first then follow by kelly

then i send her home first
then d-tour make to my house.
home sweet home.

loving you :D

**********

been missing all the fun
hopefully this coming sat
will be as happy as ever
all those funny moment we had.
looking forward to saturday.
woooohoooooo

i think i finally why!!
know why i been bother so much.

i think it all about me.
i might be over protective
and scared that i might cant
loose out this friend.

so now,
i finally see it through
everything is fated
so i cant really do much.

to you all,
i am very SORRY
mostly about the trouble
i created to you all.
all the pressurising i did.

After so long
i don`t see "why" it can`t,
but i just need to compromise with it.
NO choice but to ACCEPT the fact as it is.

I know that there is no such thing
as THE TIME MACHINE
so we can`t go back to time.

time is the most priceless thing
NOBODY can turn it back
and also we can`t use money to buy it back.
IF IT PAST MEAN IT ALREADY PAST
NO WAY YOU CAN TURN IT BACK!!!!

what we do can never be able be
accommodate to others.
it always bound to have someone to
GAIN!! or LOSE!!

So,
what had been had already been done
therefor there is no use to
cry over the spilled milk.


NO forgiveness to what i done,
it a sin that never able to wash away.


GIVE up,
i think it might be the best solution now
and HOPE that the thing which is
bothering me can be less bothering.

no wonder
there is a saying
" little little clouds form the sky "
it just like life
" little little trouble form our life "
is so true!!!

and also
" you sow what you reap "
i think it just the karma retribution
everything is in circle
everything you do sure hit you back somehow.


something my formal principal say before
" THE DECISION YOU MADE ; THE CONSEQUENCES YOU BEAR "
it indeed so true!!!

this post
is all about
HAPPY STUFF!!!! :D

firstly
3rd day of school.
everybody is like finally
opening up themselves.
our bonding in class
is much more closer now!!! hehe

secondly,
i got an A for my first day of school.
i am so happy abt it!!!
continue to strive hard for good result.
javascript:void(0)
Publish Post
thirdly,
finally after so many thing
we are finally an item now :D
will treasure her alot de :)
the journey start 09/04/08.

well
i did not have a good nitez yesterday.
i had this dream that make me feel guilty.
it something on what i have done wrong.
i suddenly felt this sense of guilty
i really feel so sorry for yvonne.


while,
school was alright for me.
the class start to get crappier
able to get along with them quite well.



**
Get to know something,
which i think i knew quite sometime ago.
i struggle , there a devil and angel in me.
i do not know who to listen to..
anyone pls enlighten me.

i feel like asking
but the devil told me i only bring more harm than good!!!
wad should i do?

so the question for the day ;

SHOULD I ASK?

okay fine.
today is first day of RP
almost can`t wake up on time.

everything is like so new to me,
it still take time to adapt it.
new environment , new friends
new everything new everything
new changes new start.

missing a lot of things right now.
missing all my classmates.
all those fun moment we had.

missing my wrs teacher.
miss those lesson that you all conducted
the fun and joy you all bring to us.

missing wrs band right now!!!
coz when school start jiu have lesser time
or can`t go back very often le.
somemore those sec4/5 step down le
so i am also missing my usual hangout mate such as ROY and VON
now only left gina in band le.

missing my cozy classroom.
the place i am sitting
with people surrounding me.
so lovely.



but must get use to it some how.
SIR told me that after my 1st day in poly
i start to frown and and smile less le
and also i exert a lot of force when i talk.
he say this is a bad sign!!! ):

he told me that
he dont wan to see a kokseng that he dunno anymore
and he ask me to give less pressure to my heart
and also think of my happy moment!!
( i think should be when the 4 of us together bahx) hehe


now that i am on my own now in poly life
i must be aware for wad i need to change
and also how much i need to change.
gonna control everything in life.



i hope tmr will be a better day for me :D

hey people,
i am back for blogging.
damn tired this few days.

saturday,
went expo
cnl + cityharvest orchestral
combine band to play just one song
WHEN YOU BELIEVES :D

hehe,
first time playing for such a big crowd
and also first time playing in orchestral.
so much. lol.

went to johnlittle sales
go there see see look look play play
so stupid larx.

after that
took train home.
reach home
slack
sleep.

sunday,
wake up at 5.15
get myself ready
meet roy at admiralty

walk to school.
saw yvonne.
she walk so fast. lol

warm up in school
went to admiralty garden
perform for dunno wad
with prime minister as the guest.

then after the performance
went to sir house
with kelly and gina
go watch the WMC video
then slack awhile jiu cabbed to CNL

after practice jiu go for dinner
then jiu train home le.



********

there can be miracle,
when you believe it.
and now i am hoping all the things
will come true in reality
not in dreams or wadever.
if it come true things will gonna be PERFECT!!!

seriously
after all this
finally everything
sort of come to an end le bahx.

thinking back,
i really think that i am a fool.
so foolish to do all this stupid things
i have really regretted telling him those stuff.
making myself so miserable. and also make me cant sleep.
i feel so stupid!! xD

i think that i
had created the sea
then yvonne had created the wave
then together we created the tsunami!!!
everything will be so wonderful if there is no wave
just a calm deep blue sea.

and also
i think i have to blame my bloody mouth
for telling saying so much thing out!!!
should say de i don`t say out ;
those cannot say de jiu all say out to others.
REGRETTED saying out those stuff!!!

hope crush,
things wont happen again,
friendship drifted apart
no more outing,
maybe more problem rising.
all sad case!!!
just all damn me bahx!! ):

friendship drifted apart
everything start to fall apart.
it never the same like last time le.
and i think it will never happen anymore.
and i think it something that
it will never be able to glue back bahx
the crack will always be there.

seriously now
i am feeling damn GUILTY
and also feel REGRET
for all those thing i had done.
now what i need most is a TIME-MACHINE
which can go back to time
and i promise i wont let all this happen.



wad to do??
just hope everything can end bahx
with no one hurting that much.
feeling bad , guilty and regretted right now!!!


i noe all our friendship
will just sink like this
but i am not afraid
to tell you guys that
you are always the one i treasure most!! :D

it seem like
i still haven get over
the BLACK SUNDAY YET!!!
coz it still make me think a lot!!
it making me stress out damn a lot!!

something,
i feel that (maybe) i been
knowing too much things bahx
there is so much info coming in
but the info is unable to get out!!
so all it being trap within me.

but after all i don`t mind
keeping all the secret
coz maybe it might teach me
sense of responsible bahx.
it also help to gain people trust.

for now,
i think i only can go wif the flow bahx
wadever come i just had to learn to accept it.
everything does not really go wif our wish.

A random quote
" What Goes Around Comes Around
What Goes Up Must Come Down "